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Within my own family, I had two gay uncles who died of AIDS-related illnesses before I was 10.They were estranged from our family, partly because of their health and their sexual orientation.Thankfully, marginalized queer communities have started to call out those hurtful comments as acts of discrimination rather than statements of preference.All of this has shed a glaring light on my internal struggle.

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Could we all be perpetuating internalized racism by consciously, or even unconsciously, excluding Black men and other men of color as romantic prospects?

As a Black writer who writes about issues of race and culture, I can’t help but feel a certain sense of hypocrisy when it comes to my dating habits.

As a dark-skinned Black man, I have faced both overt and subtle instances of racism from white gay men.

A friend of mine, who is Latino, once asked why I didn't approach Black men in bars.

I replied, "Look around — I'm one of three Black guys here." There’s a clear lack of queer spaces in POC communities, and that definitely affects the ability of men of color to meet one another.